There are some things we can’t undo, which is a shame, because we don’t always know when we’re making a terrible mistake. I have regretful moments that stay with me, moments that seemed fine up until the second they were over, when the realization of doom spread over me like a dark blanket. Did I really say that? or Did I just do that? One of the benefits of being older is that many of my youthful indiscretions aren’t up for YouTube consumption, and the lack of email in my teenage years has allowed me to escape the “Did I really send that?” woe (sure, it’s still possible, but I think way too much about what I write to other people).
In the ’80s it took time for mistakes to become full-on roadblocks, but as opposed to now when people forgive, forget and move on (the governor of New York was caught with hookers and he still gets TV shows), back then your problems stayed with you. Michael Dukakis and Willie Horton, New Coke, Dan Quayle telling a grade-school student he was wrong for spelling potato correctly.
And Billy Squier making the video for Rock Me Tonite.
If you don’t remember 1984 (no, not the book), it was a pretty mixed up time. We were still in the Cold War, worried about the Russians lobbing bombs our way (that War Games movie was scary shit). There was a disease that killed you if you had sex, though no one with any authority ever said a thing about it. Cocaine was everywhere. Michael Jackson was more normal than Prince. No one thought Boy George was gay, just British (I heard that somewhere – one of those 80s nostalgia shows).
MTV was gaining steam, moving its way into the music world with a giant shove. Duran Duran became an international phenomenon because of the network, and any musicians seeking money and fame had to play its game if it wanted in. Billy Squier was not of this MTV ilk — he was a rock and roll guy who wrote good, anthemic songs with a faithful, but not ranging, audience of fans. He wrote songs about young girls and stroking (there are many interpretations), brandishing the guitar with purpose and power. He lived in a world of George Thorogoods and 38 Specials. He did not wear ripped-up pink T-shirts.
The story goes the video’s director George Ortega, who was big at the time, thought this was the way to go – and in some aspects he was right. Rock Me Tonite was Squier’s biggest hit (reaching No. 15 on the charts), and the feel of the video fit in with many of videos shown on MTV at the time. Flashdance was a huge movie not long before the video came out, so there was a pop-culture movement behind it. I remember liking the song when I first heard it, but after watching the video through the eyes of a teenage guy, I wasn’t much of Billy Squier fan anymore.
I wasn’t alone. He’s gone on record saying the video ruined his career. Let is recount the ways:
0:00 – 0:45: Silk sheets? Really. Madonna videos didn’t have silk sheets, and she sang about silk sheets. So we have a naked Billy Squier getting out of silk sheets BY HIMSELF so he can put on painter’s pants and what looks to be a ripped up rejected T-shirt from the Police’s Synchronicity tour. It’s uncomfortable when he shakes and starts to dance. He looks determined and angry shaking his arms and snapping his fingers. I think he knows this is a terrible idea.
0:54 – 1:18: He has an elevator in his room filled with pink lights (he should have gotten in and gotten the hell out of there), which he opens but never enters. The pink lights must scare him, because he dives to the floor and Jennifer Bealses his way across the floor back toward the bed. We found out the T-shirt is promoting his album Emotions in Motion.
1:19 – 1:34: Billy Squier invents Zumba. He aches for the guitar – windmill and all – before becoming so enraged he rips the shirt in two. Oh my.
1:35 – 2:25: I don’t think we will ever know why he’s wearing the pink shirt, it’s unfortunate to the point of absurdity. And I know, having grown up in the 80s, that pink was not a color solely for women. But this particular shirt was. Is that a crane hook in his bedroom? All the better to hang yourself.
2:26 – 2:54: He’s trying out for A Chorus Line. It’s not going too well.
2:55 – 3:20: Making an awful video is exhausting, so I must rest, by myself, on my silk sheets while the musical bridge washes over the room, which emits red lights periodically.
3:21 – 4:15: I see, the elevator does go somewhere. The dancing doesn’t seem so bad with a pink guitar, but is it fair to bring other people into this travesty? Did the rest of band know what he was up to before he made them wear those silly outfits and mime along to the song, which isn’t nearly as good as it was before I saw this video. And did he wear the pink shirt because he had a pink guitar, or did he have a pink guitar which necessitated the pink shirt? Does he still have the pink guitar, or did he burn it as a reminder of his great fall?
4:16 – 4:45: Billy’s trying to get away from the camera, he’s attacking the drummer. If I start a fight, maybe, just maybe it won’t ruin my career.
4:46 – 4:59: I kept waiting for them to kick like the Rockettes. And bassist, keep your shirt on, stop making it worse.
I wonder what would have happened had he never made this video? Would Billy Squier share the stage with Bruce Springsteen as one of the greatest of the greats? The world will never know.
